But first darling, push play.
It's 12:40. I told myself I'd be to bed so much earlier than this.
I need to go to yoga in the morning. I need to plan the meals this week.
I need to email so and so back and send the contract and bill the card and mail the box and make the album...s....
But here I am. Trying to learn how to be a little more patient with myself. A little more forgiving.
See this guy on the right here?
...hold on as tightly as you held onto me...
This is the man I love. It doesn't really matter how I view myself or what I am doing or not doing, making or falling short in my own mind. There he is. As steady as the tide...
Maybe you know. Or maybe you don't. We want a child but haven't been blessed with one. It is one of the hardest journeys I have ever encountered in my life. I never envisioned this path for me... for us...
But this is the place that I call my home. This house, Johnny & I have built, of love and tears and lessons learned and a path to tread that is ours
...I'm in the garden where we planted those seeds...
I once bought a book for myself. I don't idolize people but I do love so much of Annie Leibovitz. I bought her autobiography, with the tan cloth cover- for myself- last Mother's Day. I bought it and on the inside cover wrote
"To Myself , 8 May 2011
All of my subjects are my children.
The world is but waiting to be loved."
So my story goes.
You are my children.
I hold up the camera to your beautiful face and I see a life of potential awaiting to be embraced.
I believe in you.
I believe in your love.
I believe in your journey...
because you see, right now you are this gift that I have been given.
You, Lovely, are one of them.