This little lovely.
I remember a particular New York City morning well, the first time I was ever introduced to the concept that even your daughter could be a soulmate. It was last September. It was the longest time I had been away from Emiliana and actually the trip that I (somewhat intentionally?) weaned her. I was sitting with Ali Meyer and Jennifer Kass on the rooftop of the Hotel Americano discussing souls, soulmates, etc and Jennifer who was raised Buddhist, said something like "Well you know sometimes in souls Mothers come back as Daughters just to feel the different role or to nuture instead of be nutured." My mind exploded and of course I started to tear up. That is what I have always felt inside. Long before I was pregnant with Emilia I was writing her letters, perhaps beckoning her very soul into this Universe.
Then that one time on the quilt in the the back yard. She was still 2 and I was having a bad day and cant' remember if I was just sulking or had already started to cry and she put her little hand on my face (as I do to her :) and she began singing the song from Pocahontas
"Listen to your heart, you will understand..." and then I really started to cry because somehow she knew that is what I needed to hear at that exact moment. Isn't that what soulmates are? Speaking truth, life into us at the moment we need it?
There is a certain respect between us that I acknowledge although she is but a little person, she is still a person. Her needs, her thoughts, her feelings matter. Long before she had the words to communicate I could sense she understood, and she's always let us know in her own ways that she does.
I'm not sure our culture allows children to be children and to grow up with adults, if that makes sense. I know many other cultures do.
I have never met someone as nuturing, loving, gentle and quiet at her core and yet fierce and assertive. Truly when I am around her, she is my peace.
Here we are with @1dog1hour at the Austin Animal Shelter walking one of the rescue dogs! Mia is Emiliana's bff! Those girls are inseparable! They share many of the same traits and I'm grateful for her Mommy Simran who is my own bf.
She's currently obsessed with this chair we got at Ikea and of course she has to do everything Mommy does, so when I sweep she sweeps (ie: likes to whack things and watch them fly across the floor :)
Why I most wanted to write today was because I am a proud photographer Mommy. I could talk about this for 15 mins solo but I'll just say this: These 4 photographs are the first polaroids (fujifilm :) that Emiliana took by herself! For the first time ever she lined up all of her animals today and said "Where's my camera Mommy?" She has a little play wooden camera and I said "Do you want a real camera?" and gave her the polaroid. You can see the progression of things she moved, etc with no assistance on my part in styling the photo only in technique of holding it. That girl...
Since I always hang up mine I thought she'd get satisfaction from hanging hers up too. So we hung them together, at her height.
Here's a few of our favorite books that never get old.
I'm one of those that wanted kids when I was but a teenager and thankfully the Universe granted me two younger sisters 10 and 13 yrs younger than myself to nuture and help raise. Becoming a mommy was the scariest thing I've ever done in my lifetime but it is hands-down the number one job of this lifetime.
Thank you, Emiliana, for your patience with me. I love watching you grow.