On this late summer afternoon the wind on my porch moves the leaves of this fiddle leaf fig, moves in me as the thoughts in my head keep drifting back to in life, flowing like a river, going with the flow.
How is this possible? Can we create an environment for ourselves in which we can- no, we must listen to what our hearts, our bodies tell us we need? If we don't listen, what is the consequence? A missed opportunity? (ie: not getting the fabulous job of our dreams) Can we be so bold to admit- our very lives?
Earlier last week when I was sharing a table with two of the finest women I know talking about making changes in our lives and impacting our community with spreading the idea that we must give ourselves permission to be who we feel we are called to be, we must get out of our own way to live our lives to the fullest of who we are, and my first response was:
"Yes! Who can we band together with? What big campaign can we put together to share this!!"
And Shari, in her cool calm understated tone of perhaps sounding as if she is questioning herself (but we all wonder what profound truth is about to emerge) says
"I don't think we need some big grand campaign. Not saying that there is anything wrong with that. But these conversations right here, this is where change begins."
Somehow my mind drifted to the cover of Gregory Alan Isakov's latest album where there is a fire in the palm of a single nail-bitten hand and almost instantly my mind combusted, right there on the porch of that little cafe and the splinters of Shari and Kate and I's thoughts floated down around us like snow flakes re-penetrating each of our minds with the realization that in truth, yes, this conversation right here, one torch to one torch, one heart to one heart, inside of us now, this is where change begins.
"It is not that we have forgotten" the Buddha reminds us, "only how soon we remember."
I have much to remember, I am remembering. The grace I give so freely to others I am incapable of gifting to myself. That sort of change. The change that says we need to speak the truth to others, even when it might hurt, but it will heal. The change that says even when money is tight we must quit, say no to one job to pursue another perhaps not as lucrative one to allow ourselves to live fully alive.
This is wu wei. This is going with the flow. This is trusting our intuition. It is walking on the foundation that everything will work out. We trust this wind, though we can not see it and will never in our life time see it but we feel it, we feel it blow through us. The secret isn't hiding in some far off place but inside of each of us, here, now.
Are we taking the time to quiet our hearts, our lives, for even a brief moment, long enough to listen?